


At My Worst

by jaysungwonie



Category: ENHYPEN (Band)
Genre: Alpha Park Sunghoon (ENHYPEN), Omega Yang Jungwon, alpha soobin, i dont know how to tag here, mention of anxiety, omega beomgyu, once again i said ANXIETY don't read if you can't handle it, soobin is jungwon step brother, soogyu dont have a specific relationship here, sungwon fiance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-13
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-21 06:22:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30017487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaysungwonie/pseuds/jaysungwonie
Summary: Jungwon believe that everyone have their own weaknesses. No one is perfect,including the Alpha. They are also a person after all. They have things that they don't show to public too. Cause his Alpha also not perfect. But he's willing to do anything for his Alpha.And Sunghoon used to believe that Alpha is always perfect. But after he himself turn out to be an Alpha,he know it's all just a lie. Perfect is just a mask to hide their weaknesses. They indeed also have fragile side of them that they are hiding. And he,Park Sunghoon,also have many weaknesses. He can't be more grateful to have an Omega to hold him when he is at his worst. His one and and only Omega.
Relationships: Park Sunghoon & Yang Jungwon, Park Sunghoon/Yang Jungwon
Comments: 6
Kudos: 11





	At My Worst

**Author's Note:**

> THIS MENTIONED OF ANXIETY. okay that's all you need to know for now:D

[JUNGWON]

"Noona,where is Sunghoon-ssi?"

"Manager-nim,did you see Park Sunghoon?"

"Soobin hyung,did you know where is Sunghoon hyung?"

"Sunghoon? The last time I saw him he was in the dressing room."Jungwon sigh. Even the beautiful Alpha in front of him don't know where is Sunghoon too.

"Hey,Jungwonie. Everything fine?"the Alpha reach for him,patting his back in comforting manner. Jungwon shake his head furiously.

"Soobin hyung,...I can't find Sunghoon hyung."he let his tears slip from his eyes as he start to sob in front of his step brother.

"You can't find him? What do you mean,Wonie-ahh? One more performance and it'll be his turn,right?"Soobin start to look worried as well. He take out his phone to ask his members if they know Sunghoon whereabouts,one hand never leave his brother back.

"My members don't saw him as well."Soobin pull him into his arms,comforting the younger in his rich Belgium scent. Now he also get worried about his brother's fiance. He know what have Sunghoon went through. And he is afraid if that lead Sunghoon to do something harmful.

"Soobin hyung! Jungwonie!"both of them turn around when their name being called. Behind their back is an adorable Omega in black sweatshirt and fluffy hair. It's Beomgyu. And he looks like he just done running. 

"I-I saw Sunghoon be-before."

"What? Where,hyung,where?"Jungwon push Soobin aside and rush to Beomgyu,begging the elder Omega to tell him.

"Last time I saw him,he-he lead to the stairs at west side."Beomgyu said between his breath. Jungwon widen his eyes. Why he never think about it? Stairs are the only place that have no people. Sunghoon must lead there!

"Quick,Wonie! Go for him. I'll try to adjust his performance so he could perform last. Go Wonie,go!"Soobin rooted for him. And he waste any more time and run to the west side of the building. His mind full of any possibility that might happen or already happened. Sunghoon need him right now.

Few more steps to the emergency door that lead to the stairs. His heart is racing hard,both from his run and his anxious.

"Hyung,please hold on.."

He almost bump into the door instead of open it. He stop in front of the door for a while to catch his breath. He wipe any tears that remains on his face and try his best to form a smile. At time like this,he need to be the strong one for his Alpha.

"Hyung..?"he open the door slowly,finding for his Alpha.

At the corner,there's the person he's searching for,hugging his knees close to his chest,his long bangs covered half of his wet face,his eyes look swollen and red as the make eye contact.

"Sunghoon hyung..."Jungwon himself can heard the sound of his heart breaking as he call for his Alpha. The sight in front of Sunghoon all miserable and broken hurts him so much. The Alpha have went through so much. He deserve all the love.

The elder let out a loud cry before making a 'grabby' hand to him,like he's been waiting for him allvthe time.

Jungwon can't bear it anymore. Tears flowing down on his chubby cheeks as he rush to hug his Alpha. He can feel the elder arms wrapping tight on his tiny figure while crying on his shoulder. His Alpha needs him. Sunghoon need him right now.

"Hey,hyung.. Look. I'm here now. Calm down. Hey,I love you,hyung. You're doing great. I really proud of you,hyung."

He pat Sunghoon head slowly. The elder usual warm and balmy forest become a lot more darker and thicker. It feels like it's freezing but burning at the same time. He don't know how to describe it but all he know he don't like the smell. It showed that Sunghoon is sad and anxious, and he don't want Sunghoon to feel that ways.

"Hyung,you know that you'll always have me,right? I will always be by your side. I love you,hyung. It's fine,hyung. Everything will be okay."

[SUNGHOON]

Sunghoon let the younger pampered him with all the praise and sweet words. He really need to hear all that right now. He need Jungwon to give him the strength he need.

"Jung-Jungwon,I-I can't do t-this."he murmured under his breath.

He can't keep it to himself anymore. His anxiety is killing him inside. He can't even look straight in Jungwon eyes even the younger try to force him into eye contact. He feels so useless. Jungwon must be disappointed on him.

"It's okay, hyung. It's okay if you don't want to perform today. I can ask Soobin hyung to cancel your performance. Everyone will wait for you to ready. I'll be waiting. No need to force yourself,hyung. I love you,okay?"

Jungwon words hit hard on him. No,who he is lying to? The boy in front of him is Jungwon,his fiance,his Omega,Jungwon will always support him. Jungwon will always stay even there's a lot of reason to go. Jungwon will always hold him even when he's at the worst. Because Yang Jungwon always promise to be his caim. His safe place. His forever home. And he's so grateful to have Jungwon in his life.

Maybe he got too deep in the thought to notice that his breath is hitching up and his scent smells like a frozen forest.

"Hyung,calm down! Grounding,hyung. You'll be fine. I promise you are doing really great. Keep your senses! Hyung,do you hear me?"

Jungwon worried voice bring him back to the reality. He finally realize that he is clutching tight on Jungwon tiny hands,blocking any blood to reach it,making the tiny hands all cold and pale.

"I-I'm sorry!"he let go of Jungwon quickly, backing away from the omega immediately.

"Hyung,calm down. Follow my guide,okay?"Jungwon soft voice ease him a bit. He let Jungwon hold his hands once again. Having the tiny hands on his own make him feel save. It feels like nothing will ever happened to him when Jungwon is around.

"Take my hands,hyung. What does it smells like?"

Sunghoon pull Jungwon closer to him,making the tiny boy sit on his lap as he bring Jungwon hands close to his nose.

Jungwon hands smell like powder. Baby powder to be exact.

"Baby.. you smell much like a baby,Wonie."Sunghoon keep scenting on Jungwon hands like his life depends on it. He place a gentle kiss on Jungwon's palm before he look straight at Jungwon who is smiling.

"You love it,hyung?"Jungwon asked with a tint layer of pink plastered on his cheeks. Jungwon looks adorable like that.

"I-I love it,Wonie.."his breath start to calm down. He is no longer breathing hard like before. His scent also become more balmy.

"Then,how about this?"Jungwon suddenly pull him into his arms,making his face directly rest on Jungwon exposed neck.

Jungwon feels so warm,contrast from his freezing self. And he know why Jungwon purposely pull him like that.

Jungwon want him to smell his scent.

"Y-your scent... Wonie... it's calming.."

Sunghoon always find that Jungwon's citrus scent can help him calm himself. The positivity in the sweet citrus is overwhelming. It can reduces all his pain. The scent is not also refreshing but calming at the same time. Or maybe because the scent come from his Jungwon,that it really help him through times like this.

After a few minutes past,Sunghoon break the hug and look at Jungwon.

"Thanks,Jungwonie.."

"It's okay,hyung. I'm always here for you. Don't be scared. You don't need to perform if you are not ready yet,hyung. Your fans surely will wait for you. And so am I."Jungwon put his hand on his shoulder,beautiful smile paste on his face as he remains eye contact with Sunghoon.

"Jungwon..I-I still feels insecure t-to perform on stage a-again after..erm you know w-what happened before.."

The memory of his last performance on stage come to his mind. It exactly one year ago when he performed his song live on the big stage. He don't know what's wrong that time when he suddenly slip himself at the chorus. When he suddenly stop singing and looked at the audience instead. He still can feels thousands pair of eyes staring at him with a shocked expression. Out of anxiety,he ran from the stage. The noise from the audience still can be heard in his ears.

He showed them his weakness. He showed them that he is a failure. And by that time,he should know that he is doom.

He received hateful comments every single day. He's being threatened by lots of death letters. His fans messages and support being blind by all the hateful comments and else.

And by that time,he started to feel anxious about everything. He feels scared to sleep alone thinking about the death threats he received. He feels like being watched everytime he walk out from his house. When his voice become shaking and drought from lots of cry.

All of it terrified him a lot. Luckily, he has Jungwon by his side. Jungwon who is always there to support him when he is down,hold him when he fall,calm him down when his anxiety creeps him. Jungwon was always there at his worst. Jungwon never leave. And he can't never express how thankful he is for Jungwon. His Omega is his caim,and he'll never can thanks God for sending Jungwon for him.

The Omega is an angel for Sunghoon. His Omega is an angel indeed.

"Hyung? Did you hear me? It's okay if you don't want to perform,okay? We can cancel it if you-"

"No!.. Don't cancel it,Jungwon. I-I need to be b-brave for once. I need t-to prove myself that I can face this. Please,Jungwon..."

He can clearly see Jungwon shocked face. Not to mention that he looks worried too. Sunghoon know what he is doing right now,but he need to prove everyone especially himself that he,Park Sunghoon,can fight his anxiety.

"Y-you sure,h-hyung? I don't want y-you to do it if y-you are not ready yet.."Jungwon shuttered while talking. But he know,deep in Jungwon's galaxy eyes,the younger is actually happy for him. He know the younger have been waiting for him to perform on stage again,to spread the happiness that he used to five before.

"Yes,Jungwon. I need to face it,Jungwon. It's either now or later. But before it's too late,let me prove myself-"

He shocked when the younger suddenly jump into his arm,small sobs can be heard from him.

"Hey? Why are you crying,Wonie ahh?"he pat Jungwon back slowly as the smile start to form on his lips. Ouh,how he miss to smile again!

"Hyung,I-I'm proud of you! You-You deserve to be loved,hyung.. I-I love you,hyung."

He smile grew bigger when Jungwon snuggle closer to him,with hands resting on his chest and head on his shoulder. It feels nice to stay like this after a long time.

"I love you too,Jungwonie. Thanks for everything.. Now let me prove myself that I deserve you for me,baby."he kiss Jungwon forehead twice.

"You always deserved me,hyung. Always."

Seeing a happy smile on his Omega face feels nice. Now let him gather all the courage for what might happen later.

○●○

"Hyung, you sure you want to do this?"Sunghoon let out a small laugh to hide his nervousness. He don't remember how many times Jungwon asked him the same question.

"I'll not back off,baby.."he sneakily kiss Jungwon chubby cheek,holding the urge to bite it out of cuteness.

"You sure hyung?"Jungwon seems to still worry over it and that's actually make him soft. How much Jungwon care for him is really endearing. He promise that he will treat Jungwon better after this. The younger have been strong enough for him,now let him take care of the younger.

"Park Sunghoon. Five more minutes before your turn."the staff come to remind him. Sunghoon nods to the staff and focus on Jungwon back. Suddenly he starts to feel nervous and anxious.

"Jungwonie, can you help me for a bit?"he awkwardly asked.

"About what,hyung?"

"Can you said that I'm doing great?"Sunghoon try to hide his real feelings when he stare into the younger eyes. He needs the younger to give him some strength before he take a big step to the stage.

"Come closer,hyung."he move one step forward to be closer as what the younger said. He watch as Jungwon tiptoe to reach his height.

"You're doing really great,hyung. You make me very proud. I believe in you,Hoonie hyung."he can feel a sweet and small whisper into his right ear before the younger place a soft kiss on his earlobe.

"Thank you,Wonie."

He take out a white blindfold that matching with his black oversized shirt from his pocket and pass it to Jungwon.

"What's this,hyung?"

"Please put this on me.. I need times to adjust with public stage again,Wonie.."

"It's okay,hyung. I don't mind if you stay with the blindfold till the end. You already make a big step for performing today,hyung. Now turn around, let me put this on you."

Sunghoon let the younger tighten the blindfold as he take a deep breath. He can do this.

"I will hand you to the staff. Remember that you'll always me at your back,hyung. I love you."

"I love you too."

Sunghoon can feel another pair of hand holding him. It must be the staff that Jungwon mentioned. He clear his mind by thinking of Jungwon and his sweet citrus scent and baby powder smell. And he actually smile at the thought of it.

"Sunghoon-ssi, now you are in the middle of stage. I'll leave you here. Goodluck!"

Sunghoon only nod in response cause he know his mic is already on. He can feel his legs is shaking a bit,but he try to control himself. He can't let his anxiety make him a slave again. Never. He take a last deep breath before he hear the music starts.

Do your thang  
Do your thang with me now  
Do your thang  
Do your thang with me now

He let his body flow along the beats. It's been a long times since he let his body sync with the music. He's been caging himself for a year,now let him let himself breath on the stage once again. He don't care about the audience anymore. Just him,letting his body to be free with his passion dancing along.

What's my thang tell me now  
Tell me now  
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Sunghoon let his body lead the last beats of the song before he throw himself on the stage at the last beat,curling on the stage while breathing hard. Audience and fans are clapping and cheering hard for him.

He did it! He manage to prove himself to the world. He prove that he is worth for Jungwon. Finally..

"Sunghoon hyung! I love you!"he don't need to find the voice owner cause he know it's his Omega,his little Jungwon.

But the performance didn't end just like that.

The stage light finally black out,making the audience gasps in the confusion as they start making noises. That's when he finally get the courage to open his blindfold.

Kkeuteun eodilkka dallyeo bojiman  
In the mirror sogui miro  
Bohoran tongjega nal gadugo  
Apado deoneun tujeong burimyeon an dwae  
Nareul kkok gamchwodun sesang, sesang  
Please don’t give up on me  
=I'll run to the end  
Maze in the mirror  
My Protection is under control  
Even if it hurts, you can't fight anymore  
The world that kept me hidden  
Please don’t give up on me

He decided to sing his sunbaenim self produced song. Everyone suddenly stay silent as he continue to sing the song in the darkness.

We’ll be going up neomeojiji ma  
In the mirror sok ne wiro  
Keodaran teure nal majchugien  
Yeojeonhi jakgo jageun geosman gateunde  
Nareul jom chajajwo jebal, jebal  
=We ’ll be going up, don’t fall  
In the mirror, above you  
I think it's not even a big deal to fit me in a big frame  
Because It's still looks so so small  
Please find me please, please

He can feel his own tears running down on his cheeks. And he didn't bother to wipe it away. He's already too deep in the song to care about anything.

Geoul apeseo nan tto gulbokhae  
Yeogin neomu keomkeomhae  
Yeorigiman han nae eokkaen  
Sumjido pyeojido moshae

Miro sok kkeute miro sok kkeute  
Geoul jeo pyeone jeogi jeo pyeone  
Nareul chajajwo jebal, jebal  
Please don’t give up on me

No oh oh oh oh oh oh  
No oh oh oh oh oh oh  
Yeorigiman han nae eokkael  
Gidaeeo swil suga issge  
Swil su issge

No oh oh oh oh oh oh  
No oh oh oh oh oh oh  
Nareul chajajwo jebal, jebal  
=In front of the mirror, I give in again  
It's too dark here  
Soft like a fish  
I can't hide or open it

At the end of the maze At the end of the maze  
Across the mirror over there  
Please find me please  
Please do n’t give up on me

No oh oh oh oh oh oh  
No oh oh oh oh oh oh  
My shoulders are only here  
So you can rest  
So that you can rest

No oh oh oh oh oh oh  
No oh oh oh oh oh oh  
Please find me please

He finished the last sentence with eyes closed. He didn't notice that the music already end when he is still sobbing on the mic. When he open his eyes,all eyes are on him and the light already on.

The sudden silence and thousands stare on him triggered his memory. Please not again.

"I'm sorry."he's about to run away again when a loud clap come from the right stage. He turn to see his omega,Jungwon,standing there with a tears and proud smile on his face. After a few seconds,everyone stand up and cheer for him. Once again his tears flip from his eyes,but this time he is happy.

"Thank you."

He ran to the back stage where Jungwon is waiting for him.

[JUNGWON]

He open his arm as wide as he can when he saw Sunghoon running to him. His face is hurts from smiling to wide. When Sunghoon finally come into his arms,that's when he feels the same pain hitting on him. He try his best to control his expression.

"Hyung,you did it!"Jungwon cup Sunghoon face with his tiny hands. He hope his smile can hide his pain inside.

"I did it,Wonie! Now I'm worth you,right?"Sunghoon cup his face too,pinching his cheeks as he smile bring their forehead together.

"You always worth me,hyung. You're doing really great. Please know that I really proud of you. Don't forget to eat well and take your medicines,okay?"

"Jungwonie, everything fine?"

"Please remember that I'll always love you,hyung."

He place a soft kiss on Sunghoon lips before he feels everything black out.

**Author's Note:**

> It's been in my draft for one week,I write this in rush since my dad take my phone away. And it's actually fun writing about how the character face their anxiety(meanwhile me myself is just soooo:)) btw,who want pt 2? Maybe for jungwon story? Hehe if yes,please wait maybe another weeks lol


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